Friday, March 6, 2015

One Thing You Should Know Now


I spend a lot of time on the internet. Truthfully, between blogging, homework, research, and social media, a good portion of my days are spent online… and it seems like almost daily, I see a new article stating the "25 things you should know before you are 25", "the 30 places you should visit before 30", "20 mistakes not to make in your 20s"… I could go on forever with these sample articles, but chances are that you have seen these, and likely read them.

I won't lie, I have too. Part of it is the comparison game- I want to see where I stack up in comparison to others. Especially now that I have hit the mark of 25, and half of these articles are either things I should have done, seen, experienced, or they are things that I should do, see, or experience in the next five years before the not-so-dreaded 30.

However, sometimes these articles just don't make sense to me. Specifically, I can recall an article saying the 23 things you should do instead of getting married at 23. And the 25 things you're too old for now that you're 25. See, if I were to listen to everything I read online, firstly I'd be majorly confused on what I am supposed to do in life, and secondly, I definitely wouldn't be married, living in another country, and still choosing to eat whichever food I darn well please because to hell with those five pounds. So, with that rant almost over, choose to listen, or not listen, to the one (1!!) thing you should know/do/see/realize before you age another year. I say another year, because I hope this message reaches people who are 16, 18, 22, 25, 30, 35, and even older…although, I'll be honest, I don't read the articles telling me to do/see/etc things before 40/50/60. Because I'm not yet thinking about that. But if you are still reading, here goes with the one thing you should know:

It does not matter what other people say you should be doing or have accomplished, because each of our hopes, dreams, and accomplishments are different. Find your passions and chase them. That is the only thing that will make you happy. 

If you want to get married because you love the person you are with, do that. If you want to drop everything and move halfway around the world, do that. If you want to stay in your hometown, do that. If traveling, learning, athletics, family, whatever it is that makes you happy, is your passion- identify it, and do that. Because we are all different. I am completely, 100% happy being married, living in another country, not working, getting my MBA, and traveling the world with my husband. I have friends who think I am crazy, and can't imagine having done (or be doing) the same things. Conversely, I have friends who are completely happy with their lives, and I can't imagine being in their shoes. Some of them are single with their dream job, some are living in our hometown, some have switched jobs every 3 months, some have kids and mortgages, and some are still working to discover what makes them happy. But you know what? I can't tell them what the keys to their happiness are, just like I can't tell you what the keys to your happiness are. As long as each person in my life is happy, I am happy for them- even if I cannot envision myself in their shoes.

Robert Frost two roads
excellent poem by Robert Frost
And at the end of the day, if there is one lesson I have learned in my albeit short 25 years of life, it is that. That each of us are different, and it is finding our passions and chasing them that will make us happy. Because what makes me happy, may not make you happy. And what makes you happy, may not make me happy. So whenever you receive this "advice" from the internet, telling you to do this, see that, or not experience this…ignore it, and forge your own path. That is what makes each of us unique!

10 comments:

  1. Completely agree! As long as we each take our life into our own hands, trust our instincts, and do what makes us happy, we will live a happy life! We just need to accept that we are all different, therefore we all want to get something different out of life. Love how this made me think!

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    1. Thanks Andrea! I was a little nervous about publishing this post, as it is pretty personal to me… but I've done a lot of reflecting and I think it just speaks so well to me. I'm glad to hear you feel the same!

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  2. This is fantastic!! I totally have the exact same feeling when I see those articles -- they actually kind of infuriate me haha. It's so true though -- everyone's definition of happiness is different. My best friend back home has a baby, husband, house, two dogs, etc. which I can't even imagine for myself right now, at 23. Instead, I quit my job and moved solo across the ocean to au pair and travel. We're both super happy for each other but we clearly want different things in life. And that's okay! I hate that those articles act like there is a right or a wrong way to live your life. Just do what makes you happy and you'll be fine! Sorry for the rant, haha, but I am so with you on this one!

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    1. No worries about the rant, Sara, I did the same thing when typing this! Like you, I have friends that lead 100% different lives, and am so happy for them. Chances are, I can't picture doing the same things you do- and the same vice versa. The meaning of happiness is different for everyone!

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  3. Oh my goodness, I couldn't agree more! My only wish is that I wish I would have realized this earlier in life instead of being so focused on doing certain things before 25 and waiting to do certain things until after 25, etc.

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    1. Well, at least you realized it eventually, Julie! It is hard not to measure yourself against some of the standards, but definitely important to realize that everyone is very different.

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  4. Great post - I couldn't agree more! Some people can't imagine living 4 thousand miles away from their family, and, don't get me wrong, I miss them a lot but I couldn't imagine it any other way! This is perfect for me, but would probably be a nightmare for someone else. My thoughts are as long as you're happy, that's fine by me!

    Rachel @ Me, Myself and Atlanta

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    1. Rachel, I'm the exact same- and truthfully, I never thought I would live this far from my family. It is a different scenario than many are used to, and just because something is different doesn't mean it is wrong!

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  5. Beautiful and I agree wholeheartedly. Being a 30something I wish I had know this at your age. Live your life and embrace and enjoy every day - the decades fly by! Lovely to meet you!

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    1. Thanks Kristen! It is definitely hard not to get caught up in the comparison game- I think we are all guilty of it- but important to try and avoid it!

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